Location: At Home
To: Unknown Location
5 Dec'04
Today & yesterday, regrettably fallen ill. A cold shower running over my head; outside is feeling cold, yet inside is 'feverish'. No that serious I say. ha ha ha...
Didn't went to service and work; and now the Part-time manager, Daisy, just 'blew' up with anger, thinking that I'm lying or so... Well... don't try me; it's a Sin to lie.
I'd nicely told her that I'm sick and need a break from work at home, yet she assumes that I'm lying... ... de... ... thanks to the previous staff, Farhan, who is a 'great' liar. Well anyway, to me, the weight of telling me to transfer out is still higher, cuz I find my shedule being shorten down... ... duh... ... thanks to the thing call 'labour burst'. guess I might not be working there sooner; when my result is out. Either to transfer - if I fail the subject... again... - or work till end of Dec and quit - if I pass the subject - then I'll have 15 more days time... ha ha...
Well... also a sad news I recieve just now after a convesation with Candy is that, she have quited her job, which really gave me another side of impression on her. I guess everyone too have tough discouragement period. After the conversation, I get to know about the 'someone', she like. Seems like having some 'problem' - what problem? I do not know. Need more time to talk to her I guess. Any influence to bring her a step closer back to Christ, I believe is worth it.
Another friend, that suddenly pops up my worry is a guy name, MH. Seems like he's gaining more weight than Colin losing more weight I guess... ha ha... Well... (If you're reading ah... Don't try to be hero and force your body to 'early' 'destruction' ah.... ) Well... that's all I can say.
For my Spiritual Life, well so be then. Can't be a CG guitarist, well nevermind. Can't be can't be loh... Anyway... I play it to the Lord. Somehow it gives me the 'disgust' feeling, why I'm like serving men more. Get burned out if you're serving Man I say. Well not really that serious. Somehow, thoughts still fly in and out of my mind clouding me to leave the CG. I still fight that I will stay in Church for this cost.
Another thing is that, I felt that 'she' and I are really drifting very far apart. I really breaks my heart to tell the truth about this. Can say that as though we're turning as though being strangers. I guess is too much pressure on me and 'her' on what to talk, speak and share. Well... I have no idea what is ahead, seriously, the road ahead is not very clear.
Well that's all forks... ha ha ha... ...
Agape