-Transmission-
Location: At MTA Lab, ITE(TP)
So I didn't went to for any lesson on Tuesday, due to the persecution at home in the middle of the night. Well lost increases, but I'm wiser this time. I kept my spiritual stuff outside house and brought back some school stuff, but again, forgotten to remove the Easter invitation cards from my bag. In the end, was again thrown away. But have one card remain, which I hid it when it went about: the card is for Jac, my old secondary school friend. I think that's what God wants me to do for Him.
Another lost is that my handphone is confined... well thanks 'satan'... thanks for the nice treat.... So most of the contacts of friends are gone... but thank God is that I have my Cell-Group members numbers written in my organizer, which I hid away. So went to school, and met Wins and the others after the lesson. Borrowed Wins handphone to call Colin to inform everyone the meeting time and also tell him to pass down to others: NOT TO ANSWER ANY CALL FROM THAT HANDPHONE OR PASS MESSAGE TO IT AS WELL! ! !
Then went to meet my Leader and have a great time chatting of all my problems and what it happen during yesterday after sending 'her' home and what I'd shared with Colin... and the persecution I'm going through... I can even feel that my Leader was also worried... But I still want to know when will this fight in the spiritual realm stop.
I'd also shared that after watching the Passion movie, it increases my min base of falling to the ground. Now the base is there, and I know that I have faith to conquer this mountain. No matter what will happen even being kick out of house or what, I will not surrender to religious minded and to man with pride in the heart.
Also through the chat, I was asked what dream do I have from my Leader. What's my dream? I have dreamed of being a great pianist, being an author of books or being a professional councilor and last of all, I dreamed of being a jet pilot. It is the biggest dream I dream of... able to drive a jet in the air.
I start to have another revelation about that question. I realize that I'll need a finance to run a courtship with 'her', when God allows. But thinking back, both of us are still young. Not the time to talk about 'er nu si qing' (relationship.). I believe she still have a path to study on even though there is some finance problem.
And I too have thought of being the finance backup for her studies in the future, but it's still a far. I start to know what dream I want to go for: I want to join the Air Force to serve till being able to pilot a jet. It's now my dream and goal. So I was really grateful for my Leader's sharing. I now discover a career goal in life, but I still want to ask my Lord about this dream and will it come to pass. I've also said that if the Lord did not give approval for it, I will not go for it, even the littles thing.
After that meeting, stayed there till 5pm and went to Church to meet the others. During my journey on the train, I met EJ and also we'd chatted and I also shared about the book by Joshua Harris and I can feel that he have another level attitude dealing against this feelings in the future to come: Wait for God's plan.
Met Ange and ZX also and we went from the interchange to Church, where the bible study about the Book of Isaiah is going to held. It's series one of 3 though. Then left the 3 of them and went to Church to check out whose there. Found Annie and went with her for dinner wher the 3 of them are having. After that, we go back to Church. (Cut short not to be detailed...)
I found 'her' at the attributes waiting for others and said my greetings to her. So the 3 of us, Annie me and 'her' went down the stairs to B4. During the walking down, I shared with Annie about joining the Air Force dream, Annie also offered her advice and help me check out if there is any schemes about the Air Force.
The book of Isaiah is really the book that discribes other books in the bible. Though it's the start 6 chapters through the night, it was a really what Isaiah prophecy.
After the meeting, Charter bus came. So... again, I took the N2 line instead of the usual NE1.
Firstly, the NE1 bus not really have any of 'my' ususal members taking today... he he... secondly, she's on N2 with JL and EJ. So... I sort of thought of fellowshipping with them and also sending her home. I sat beside JL, and EJ sat beside 'her'.
Well again, JL wants to 'serve' by sending her home... but I'd stopped him... He was so insisting and also outrage with his words. He was complaining about me and then and then etc... which I don't think I want to go into detail...
Well EJ ain't coming with anyway, he's going home. So JL keeps on that 'way' for quite sometime. I don't want to blame him or so... but I really want to thank him for offering himself for service, maybe not this time. So JL finally gave up. Well thank God for that. So I talked with him about his school work... etc... all these until EJ and him drop off at Sembawang.
So... I shifted and sat next to her, with integrity. So I start to open up our conversation. Then we're back to our 'usual' way of chatting with one another. Well... it's much 'warmer' in a way unlike during with members. I was also 'studying' upon the reason 'why' also. Well... maybe being a bit influence by Colin's observant way.
So far which I made throught the pass studies, most of the time the both of us really talk in front of members were either when JX, Winny, or Candy or Colin. The only reason I can think of about the people named seem to have an idea what's going on or maybe they're our buddies: Colin, mine, While JX, Winny and Candy, her's.
If my guess is not wrong, I think Candy may have told her about the Charter bus incident which include Mitch and Colin: The last Service before W261 is born. Well I don't want to come to any conclusion about it or if she knows or not. For the present, it's only about building a deeper relationship with her, not a 'courtship' or so... Like I said earlier the reason is that both of us are still young, should forcus on what God's calling for each of us. Well maybe after fulfiling God's calling as singles first and pray what's God's next plan. The important thing here is being patient, and I have been trained to have alot... ha ha...
We reach Khatib. As we got off, we're still joking and chatting. Then a call from Karen. I offered to help holding some stuff on her hands, hold some, but out of sudden, cash flew out of her outer coat, which she's grabing it. Then I saw that and stopped and turn back and grab the cash, which have fallen to the ground.
Then she realize about why I turn back. Well thank God that I was there otherwise the cash would have been lost. The cash was collected to pay for the Easter planning and it's paid by the members who came on Tuesday Bible Study.
So I joked about it (not seriously.) So we'd continue to walk to her place and continued over conversation. So I'd walked her to her block and I pass the book: I Kissed Dating Goodbye, to her as she'd asked to borrow.
I do pray that the book will help her through.
A summary: Through out finishing the book, the begining half of the book discourage things about dating - or reasons why not dating.
Later in the part, it brings back the God honoring way of building a real relationship. The author uses the word 'Courtship' to fight against Dating. Courtship though, it's an 'old' romantice 'word', which the main purpose of Courtship is the possiblity of marriage, unlike Dating, which is undefined and purposeless without goals at the end of the relationship.
After seeing her off, or should I say, 'I don't really like the feeling of seeing her off', but there's always next time to meet up. As I walk back to the MRT station, I thank my Lord for creating this time and close intimacy with integrity and God honoring attitude.
Still, I do not want to put to the conclusion or judement that 'she likes me' or what, but it's still a guessing around feeling. Like the Joshua Harris said that brothers have to treat sisters with a sincerity and honesty, not fooling around with their feelings or emotions. That's what I always remind myself to do towards her. And to continue... To guard their hearts.
Every night I would be praying that my Lord will show the path and ways to guard her heart and emotions. That's what I ask from my Lord. Of course she's not the only one I prayed for every night. There were also other people.
I also always try to account to my Leader what have happen and things gone by through verbal. I think through verbal is better, cuz if I did something wrong, I would rather accept a rebuke on my face rather than through writings. It also help me to share my burden off.
I really want to thank God for placing every single members in the Cell-Group and the new Cell-Group. Though I do not know how long will I be bloging again, but I really want to write them all out, but it's a very long list. But will save in a list. God bless who reads.
Agape