Location: At Home
To: Unknown Location
These period of time, I feel that its the time I repent for being over desire of certain 'thing' while forgotten about what should I focus on: that is focusing on my Lord to lead me rather than a decitful heart of mine. Throughout the afternoon, I've been questioning myself about being over desire.
Though I seen the vision that lies ahead, I seem to force things to go a bit 'fast', which is not a right thing at the right time. I'm not going to make things clear here, but after in the school lab, something made me want to look for another good word of wisdom from the Joshua Harris: Boy meets Girl.
I'd posted the proverbs beside the site and I'm going to repeat it here again:
A Selfless Desire to do what's best for the other person can guide us in the Big and Small decisions of a relationship.... It's an expression of sincere love and the defining mark of a Christian relationship.
(Jn 13:35: By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.)
This proverb really makes me wonder and somehow it have a bit reminder in my mind throughout the afternoon.
A Selfless Desire?? Somehow I try to look back on what's my desire and is it a 'self' desire of is it a selfless desire? I realize that my desires are starting to fall towards a self desire. You might question me what desire I have, but the truth, I believe it will only be shared between me, God, my Leader and 2 good buddies of mine, which everytime I try to talk to Isaac, something or someone would be around... haiz... no privacy... ha ha... well got to let God plan these schedule.
It's better to confess to someone that is muture and yet also wise Christian, for it's better to have someone overlooking the progress and problems then stiring the the ship yourself. Now I do understand the meaning that there should not be a Lone Ranger Christian, cuz he/she can never really stand alone unless there is another to lift him/her up the way.
The Problem that now lies sharing with them:
To God:
I believe there is no barrier.
To my Leader:
A bit no courage to speak in words, feel like sharing in spiritual report, but still I feel like sharing it on the spot, just a bit puzzle on how to start.
To Isaac:
Yo Bro, I think there's still a need of time for you to do important things around when you're free from camp. Yet still feel that we don't really have the chance to chat one on one since you'd entered NS.
To Colin:
Well it seems that I'm more of his listener when talking about games... ha ha... Still sometimes when I try to share the intimacy as a pal, he'd somehow 'change' subject, instead of questioning me why you have these or that feeling. Find that he's changing a bit after the closest ever conversation we could have during the trip back from Khatib to the level one stone chairs of my block.
Yet still, I believe that he's the one that really understands why sometimes I do these and that and react that way since that conversation which even JF sometimes don't understand.
Lets take an e.g. hmn... let me think seriously, there's too many ha ha... lets just take the case on Easter Eve Saturday night after the Easter Service, it's already close to 11pm close to midnight, so Colin and I was thinking of going to Mitch's house for a night stay for fellowship. Mitch decide to halt for a cab home by paying all the cost, cuz he was just blessed that day financially. So there was 3 of us taking the cab North to Mitch house, then a thought just came into my mind and it seem like Colin was already reading my mind what I going to do: was going to lend 'her' a fast free trip home.
So after finish the my sentence, he'd just give a simple 'why not' look and Mitch is ok with it as well. Should I say Mitch flows with Colin as well? ha ha... They're also buddies as well. So I'd went up and asked 'her' if she wants to tag along with us for a cab (sending 'her' home first.) Things just go smoothly... like I say. We'd took a long walk from Indoor Stadium to around Geylang area to halt for a cab (alot of people halting cabs at IS)
Through the walk from IS, we'd encounter people and etc... just my pal seem to understand again what I want to do, so he walked with Mitch chit chatting and laughing all the way and also try to inject some spirit between the both of us to talk... well he's just went the wrong topic though again... ha ha... pulled me of chatting with them... haiz.... ha ha... that's not I want to say or so... or what.
Just want to thank him for being my 'ring' bond companion... ha ha... Frodo and Samwise... ha ha... we'd somehow was joking about this when we have our private conversation... He's just too observant over what's going on between me and 'her' or so what I'm going through. Got to thank him for being a friend, pal, listener, 'disciple' (If I can say that.) wise yet too observant (ha ha...) and last of all a believer of Christ, a man can ever have in life apart from Christ. Amen.
Agape
These period of time, I feel that its the time I repent for being over desire of certain 'thing' while forgotten about what should I focus on: that is focusing on my Lord to lead me rather than a decitful heart of mine. Throughout the afternoon, I've been questioning myself about being over desire.
Though I seen the vision that lies ahead, I seem to force things to go a bit 'fast', which is not a right thing at the right time. I'm not going to make things clear here, but after in the school lab, something made me want to look for another good word of wisdom from the Joshua Harris: Boy meets Girl.
I'd posted the proverbs beside the site and I'm going to repeat it here again:
A Selfless Desire to do what's best for the other person can guide us in the Big and Small decisions of a relationship.... It's an expression of sincere love and the defining mark of a Christian relationship.
(Jn 13:35: By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.)
This proverb really makes me wonder and somehow it have a bit reminder in my mind throughout the afternoon.
A Selfless Desire?? Somehow I try to look back on what's my desire and is it a 'self' desire of is it a selfless desire? I realize that my desires are starting to fall towards a self desire. You might question me what desire I have, but the truth, I believe it will only be shared between me, God, my Leader and 2 good buddies of mine, which everytime I try to talk to Isaac, something or someone would be around... haiz... no privacy... ha ha... well got to let God plan these schedule.
It's better to confess to someone that is muture and yet also wise Christian, for it's better to have someone overlooking the progress and problems then stiring the the ship yourself. Now I do understand the meaning that there should not be a Lone Ranger Christian, cuz he/she can never really stand alone unless there is another to lift him/her up the way.
The Problem that now lies sharing with them:
To God:
I believe there is no barrier.
To my Leader:
A bit no courage to speak in words, feel like sharing in spiritual report, but still I feel like sharing it on the spot, just a bit puzzle on how to start.
To Isaac:
Yo Bro, I think there's still a need of time for you to do important things around when you're free from camp. Yet still feel that we don't really have the chance to chat one on one since you'd entered NS.
To Colin:
Well it seems that I'm more of his listener when talking about games... ha ha... Still sometimes when I try to share the intimacy as a pal, he'd somehow 'change' subject, instead of questioning me why you have these or that feeling. Find that he's changing a bit after the closest ever conversation we could have during the trip back from Khatib to the level one stone chairs of my block.
Yet still, I believe that he's the one that really understands why sometimes I do these and that and react that way since that conversation which even JF sometimes don't understand.
Lets take an e.g. hmn... let me think seriously, there's too many ha ha... lets just take the case on Easter Eve Saturday night after the Easter Service, it's already close to 11pm close to midnight, so Colin and I was thinking of going to Mitch's house for a night stay for fellowship. Mitch decide to halt for a cab home by paying all the cost, cuz he was just blessed that day financially. So there was 3 of us taking the cab North to Mitch house, then a thought just came into my mind and it seem like Colin was already reading my mind what I going to do: was going to lend 'her' a fast free trip home.
So after finish the my sentence, he'd just give a simple 'why not' look and Mitch is ok with it as well. Should I say Mitch flows with Colin as well? ha ha... They're also buddies as well. So I'd went up and asked 'her' if she wants to tag along with us for a cab (sending 'her' home first.) Things just go smoothly... like I say. We'd took a long walk from Indoor Stadium to around Geylang area to halt for a cab (alot of people halting cabs at IS)
Through the walk from IS, we'd encounter people and etc... just my pal seem to understand again what I want to do, so he walked with Mitch chit chatting and laughing all the way and also try to inject some spirit between the both of us to talk... well he's just went the wrong topic though again... ha ha... pulled me of chatting with them... haiz.... ha ha... that's not I want to say or so... or what.
Just want to thank him for being my 'ring' bond companion... ha ha... Frodo and Samwise... ha ha... we'd somehow was joking about this when we have our private conversation... He's just too observant over what's going on between me and 'her' or so what I'm going through. Got to thank him for being a friend, pal, listener, 'disciple' (If I can say that.) wise yet too observant (ha ha...) and last of all a believer of Christ, a man can ever have in life apart from Christ. Amen.
Agape